Happy almost-Friday, sweet friends! I am so excited to share this interview with you today: Michelle Ward is a life coach who specializes in working with creative types, and I can tell you from getting to know her a bit that this wonderful lady has boundless energy, infectious enthusiasm, and a wicked sense of humor. Michelle is based in NYC, where she is developing her coaching business, as well as writing a daily blog. Today, Michelle will be talking with us about life coaching, career changes, dealing with fear, getting out of ruts and following your dreams. So, go get yourself a nice cuppa tea and enjoy!
Laura: The field of life coaching is relatively new, but it seems to be growing wildly – many of the big magazines, like O, for instance, have life coaches on staff these days. Can you tell us a bit about what life coaches do? What makes life coaching so awesome?
Michelle: Life coaching rocks because coaches know that their clients are the experts! We don’t give advice, or answers, or tell anyone what to do (to the chagrin of some clients!). We’re trained to ask the questions that allow clients to see things in a different way than they usually do, giving them a fresh perspective and a bevy of a-ha moments. When the client decides which path they want to go down, the coach is there to help them take the next step, and the next, and the next. I give my clients homework each and every session to bring to the next session, so there’s always movement, always action. I hold them accountable, I cheer them on, I support them, I encourage them, I enthuse them. Life coaches wear a lot of friggin’ hats!
L: What fueled your decision to become a life coach?
M: A dose of grief, a dash of uncertainty, a pinch of fear, and a big fat cup of motivation to find a new career that I’d love. From the time I was 6, I followed my dream of being on Broadway. I went to a top school, I performed on cruise ships, I went anywhere that dream would have me. But then I stopped auditioning, and had to eventually face the reality that the business of acting didn’t fit in with my “grown-up” values and priorities. At that point, I was at a customer-service based job with a verbally abusive boss, and couldn’t accept that that’s what the rest of my life held for me. I took a Career Change Workshop at NYU for about 8 weeks, and discovered life coaching along the way. I was so relived to find something new that I was passionate about, despite the fact that I was looking for a stable career going in!
L: I really admire you for following your dreams, and entering a new field. I know it can be really scary at times when you’re striking out on your own – can you give us any tips on how you deal with self-doubt? And what about haters? You know what I mean, those less than supportive people that just don’t get what you’re trying to do?
M: This sound ridiculous, but I can’t remember encountering any haters! I have, though, shed a lot of the haters from my pool of friends, so I’m surrounded by really encouraging, inquisitive people that think life coaching is “awesome.” I do have plenty of self-doubt to make up for it, though! Although my overlying belief is that I’m gonna make this happen, I know I’m really, big-time scared I’m gonna fall on my face. I can think of 2 other similar endeavors I’ve made that didn’t work out quite like I planned, and I often wonder if this could really end up any differently. But then I think of everything I’ve done, everything I’ve been doing, and everything I’ve planned to do to make this work, & I can stand up to that Vampire and say, “Listen Ugly, you’re a big fat stupid jerk that doesn’t know what he’s talking about. I’m going to rock the life coaching so hard that I’m not only going to support myself, but my family too. We’re never going to have to worry about where the next paycheck is coming from. We’re going to be secure, and happy. This works on MY terms, idiotface!” Then I kick him in the nuts and laugh my evil laugh.
L: What would you say is the most challenging aspect of your work?
M: In general, the lack of time! I’m still at my day job, so I coach & build my business “on the side” – nights, weekends, & lunch breaks. I’m not a patient person, so I’m learning how to deal with things taking their time & actually enjoying the journey along the way. In direct relation to my coaching, the most challenging aspect for me is shutting up! I’m a talker, and I have to consciously be aware of allowing for the silences. Silence is super golden in coaching.
L: Have any advice for someone who is thinking of becoming a life coach?
M: I actually decided to be a life coach before being life coached, which I look back on now as so weird! So, I would suggest being coached by someone certified (believe it or not, anyone can hang a shingle & call themselves a coach!) to make sure you experience it for yourself & can explore the challenges & benefits firsthand! Then, I’d do some Google searching and find a coach or three that has a similar niche to what you’d want to do, or that you admire in some way. Email them and ask to chat, or see if they’ll answer some of your questions over email. What school did they go to? Would they recommend it? What’s their everyday life like? What do they love about coaching? What do they hate? If you’re a life coach, chances are you’re also an entrepreneur, so you have to want to get into that world, too. Then, if you’re still in it to win it, find a school that’s been accredited by the ICF & get going! (P.S. I graduated from ICA & highly recommend it!)
L: Okay, let’s pretend for a moment that I have kidnapped you and you are now the official Lolalina Life Coach. Don’t worry, I will feed you lots of cupcakes and fancy tea while you are being held hostage :) What would be your top 3 bits of advice for someone who is stuck in a major rut, and has no idea what they want to do with their life? Where could they begin?
M: Can I put in an order for Canadian Vanilla Maple tea? It’s my favorite – and only sounds fancy (it’s Celestial Seasonings)! And I just had this delicious devil-dog-like cupcake with vanilla icing & tiny M&Ms on it…mmmm….what was the question again? Oh, right, rut advice! Now, as a coach, I hesitate giving a One Size Fits All answer, so I have to preface it with an “adapt this as you see fit”. If you’re trying to figure out a new career that you’d be passionate about, here are some great places to start:
- Make a list of all of your interests. They don’t have to be things you’re great at (or even good at), but just things that you think are cool. If you can only think of a few off the top of your head, then answer these questions to discover more: What sections of the paper do you read? What types of magazines do you subscribe to? What types of books do you like to read? What movies & TV shows do you like watching? What do you enjoy talking to your friends & family about? What can you speak of at length? What websites and/or blogs do you visit most frequently? Are there any classes that you’ve taken that you enjoyed, or any that you’re thinking of taking? What did you like to do when you were a kid? What would you choose to do if you had an entire week free? What do you currently choose to do in your spare time?
- Make a list of your transferable skills. If this gives you trouble, then take a look at your resume and write down the responsibilities you had at each position. Then, rate how good you are with each one as well as how much you enjoy doing them. For example, you might have strong skills as a negotiator, but you might hate getting in the middle of arguments. So, “negotiating” would go under a skill you rock at, but one you hate using.
- Put ‘em together! I call this Peanut Butter Jelly Time. Take the skills that you not only enjoy, but rock at (or are willing to learn to rock at), and list ‘em along with your strongest interests. Try to find as many combinations as you can, like “real estate” and “writer” to be a, uh, real estate writer. Some might not be so duh-inducing, so use Google as your guide!
If anyone wants templates for these exercises (I give you a list of interests & skills to pick from, as well as some websites that’ll help you PB&J ‘em), they can email me & I’ll send them along sans strings or commitment of any kind. Or, they can fan me on Facebook or sign-up for my newsletter to get notified when these resources get put on my site (I’m hoping within the next month or two)!
L: Do you have any books to recommend that have helped you along your way?
M: I know that people immediately think of What Color is your Parachute when you’re thinking of changing careers, but honestly, it frustrated me so much I threw it across the room! The exercises in there just confused me, or told me things I already knew about myself. The biggest book that helped me find life coaching was Do What You Are, which I think can help anyone that’s looking to find a career that they could love.
The Renaissance Soul is a book that I think I’ve recommended to every one of my clients – creative types that have “too many passions to pick just one” (that’s the tagline of the book, & it’s oh so true!). I also recently read Taking Flight and it was so inspiring I had to run out of the bath dripping wet to get an idea I had from it down on paper! I could go on & on, or I can just point you to the Spectacular Stuff store I just put together on Amazon. All my favorite books for career-changing creatives are there, and it’s growing all the time.
L: Okay, being that you named your blog When I Grow Up, I just have to ask: When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?
M: When I was a toddler and wore sunglasses, my parents would call me Mona Movie Star (why they didn’t call me Michelle Movie Star, I don’t know), so I blame them for setting me on the path to be an actress so early! I think, actually, it was a toss-up between being an actress, a singer/pop star, Punky Brewster, or a teenager. All sounded good to me!
L: And finally, what does “the sweet life” mean to you?
M: It means dark chocolate and sunshine and beaches and laughter and color and coaching and singing and being hand-in-hand with my man. Not all at once, though. Trying to keep things simple, ya know?
Thank you so much for being a part of The Sweet Life Files, Michelle!
You can find Michelle via her website or blog, and feel free to leave comments for her here as well – quick! While I still have her held hostage!
{images: top, Michelle Ward; bottom, Laura Gaskill}
