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Things I’m Afraid To Tell You

A conversation that was sparked by a post from Jess Constable a few weeks back has become an avalanche – first there was Jess’s post, “Things I’m Afraid to Tell You.”, followed by Ez, Erin, and a host of others. What is this all about? Basically, it’s meant to put a few chips in the shiny facade that is so often presented on design blogs. Sadly, even though most of us know it’s not really true, it is all too easy to believe that the polished-up, perfect pictures served daily on our favorite blogs is 100% real. It’s so not. So just in case any of you dear readers have ever felt the least bit frustrated/wary/thrown by anything I’ve featured or said here, I decided it would be a scary good idea to add my voice to the mix. I for one have felt great reading others posts on this topic – honesty and openness is so refreshing, don’t you agree?

Things I’m Afraid To Tell You:

1. My house is usually a mess. Right now I am staring at a giant pile of paper toppling out of the cute little white tray that is supposed to contain it – and I’m sure there are some crushed crackers and a sippy cup buried in there somewhere, too. Most of the time, when I want to take a picture in my house, I first clear all of the crap to one side in order to get a decent shot. The only reason it doesn’t look like a total disaster is because I am a nut about decluttering, so we don’t have tons and tons of stuff.

2. I don’t really like twitter. I know, crazy, right? I mean, I use it, but mostly because I feel like I should be using it. Sometimes I happen to catch a current of fun news or conversation, but in general, I feel more like an out-of-the-loop grandma. I’m serious! I still don’t even really get the whole hashtag thing.

3. The past few years have been the hardest of my life. They have also been some of the most rich, emotionally, and some amazing things have happened that I am so grateful for – and I don’t want to downplay that at all – but guys, times have been rough. Between moving thousands of miles away from all of my family and friends, adjusting to life with baby, shifting from working full-time to being a stay at home Mama and also trying to get a new creative career off the ground, I’ve been dealing with a lot of changes. Plus, things have been extremely tight financially – sure, I’m doing what I love, but it doesn’t pay very well (at least, not yet), and we had to deal with a long stretch of unemployment that left us with a significant financial burden, so that continues to be a major headache.

4. I don’t buy most of the stuff I feature on this blog, and I don’t really expect you to, either. It’s not that I don’t want to – I love everything I show here, otherwise I wouldn’t bother to write about it – but I simply can’t afford to decorate my home the way I wish I could, and I expect you feel the same way. I hope that the pretty things I choose to feature inspire you and don’t leave you feeling like you are missing out on something. For me personally, it’s almost like by blogging something I release myself from having to pine over it anymore. Instead, I can just share it and then let it go…well, most of the time (don’t get me started on white floors!).

5. I have no talent in the fashion department. I can see what looks good on others, but I feel strangely incapable of pulling together a cute look for myself. Most of the time I’m in jeans and some form of tee shirt plus ballet flats or sandals. Also, I still haven’t lost all of my baby weight, so I am not feeling as comfortable in my skin as I would like. I try not to beat myself up about it, but I would really like to pull myself together fashion-wise, so that my outfits are at least somewhat as stylish as the interior looks I put together. As it is now, I don’t feel that my outsides match the insides, so to speak.

If you’ve made it through all of that, thank you for listening! And feel free to chime in with your own post or simply add your two cents in the comments section. Also be sure to check out some of the others who added their voices to this topic in the lists below. xoxo Laura

Participating bloggers:

Design for Mankind | Little Brown Pen | Beautiful Hello | Curating Style | Sweet Fine Day | The Jealous Curator | Happy Days | Sage & Berries | Really Handmade | Peck Life | Satsuma Press | Rena Tom | For the Easily Distracted | The Hemborg Wife | Vitamini Handmade | Courtney Khail Stationery and Design | Meg in Progress | Dando Photography Blog | Widdershins22 | Alison Citron | Pink Moon Daily | Just Pretty Things | From China Village | Tea with Me | The Darling Ewe | Not Your Average Ordinary | The Electric Typewriter | Elleby Design | Parsimonia {Secondhand With Style} | Life as an Artistpreneur | Hello Cupcake | Dellie | The A & B Stories | Pretty Little Things | Feistyelle | Nib & Zed | Well and Cheaply | I Ripple. I Dance. | Whitfield Awesome Blog | Foxtrot Press | Dry As Toast | The List of Now | Apple Blue | For the Love of | Four Flights of Fancy | Miss Modish | Snapshots & Secrets | Dirty Laundry | Bubby & Bean | Penelope’s Press | Little Nostalgia | Vale Design | Pikaland | Fleurishing | Print Pretty | Vespa Tales | Hazel & Agnes | Amanda’s Musings | Mo’ Funk Designs | Ordinary Mommy | Camp 1899 | In Honor of Design | Liberty’s Yarn | Love, Life & Pictures | Stacey Winters | Owl in the Rain | Living Life Creatively | Emma Elizabeth Clease | I Live in Vacouver Now | British Cream Tea | Maquette | Little Paper Trees | Change is Necessary for Growth | Practically Perfect | Lovely Indeed | Radiant Republic | Teacher Goes Back to School | Acute Designs | This Little Street | The Proper Pinwheel | Kellee Rich | Gluten Free Travelette | Benbrie House | Sierra BB | Lost in Cheeseland | Going Home to Roost | Creative Soul in Motion | Quietly Fabulous | L’elephant Rose | The Anna Delores Blog | Some the Wiser | JRebecca Style | I Saw You Dancing | Wolfie and the Sneak | Threadbare Supply Co. | Lemonwood and Honey |

TIATTY – Wave II (list found at Mimi + Meg):

Coco + Kelley / Court & Hudson / Sacramento Street / My Cup of Te / Crystal Gentilello / MIMI+MEG / The Decorista / Modern Eve / Apartment 34 / Design Blahg / Vmac & Cheese / Miles to Style / Life in a Venti Cup  / The Zhush / Radiant Republic / Savvy Home / The Doctor’s Closet / Design Manifest / Because It’s Awesome / {extra}ordinary wonders / Sparkling Footsteps / Hitha On The Go / Note To Self / So Much To Smile About / Blogstar / The Goods Design / Style & Pepper / Small Shop Studio  / Long Distance Loving / Maggie Rose Blog / The City Girl In Me / The Best Laid Plans / Concrete Jungle DC / Food Fashion Fitness / East Coast Chic

Post image courtesy Ez Pudewa for Creature Comforts

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{ 10 comments… add one }

  • Nina May 23, 2012, 7:46 pm

    What a great honest admission. I too fear that I sometimes come across in my blog as the perfect mother and wife who has fresh baking on the table, a tidy house and perfectly behaved children. Well, obviously that is not the case (most of the time) and just like you I pile stuff in one corner of the room before taking a nicely styled shot of a small section of my home. Is that dishonest? No! I still get a lot of satisfaction from this little corner in my home that I styled and have the ability to mentally crop out the mess – just like I do with a photo.
    Hugs, Nina
    Nina´s last [type] ..German "Gemütlichkeit"

    • Lolalina May 23, 2012, 9:30 pm

      Thanks so much Nina! I think that’s a great point you make, that it is satisfying to sweep away the junk and be able to take a snapshot of a beautiful moment or corner of our homes – I really think that’s what blogging boils down to for me; being able to focus on the positive and the small moments of beauty in life. :) xo Laura

  • Anne May 24, 2012, 12:21 am

    Laura, thank you for this post. It made me feel better.

  • Tania May 24, 2012, 1:24 am

    I’m pretty upfront on my blog about not being perfect but the one thing that I worry about is my appearance. I had a hard few years with lots of change like you did and I really let myself go. Gained 40 lbs and am completely out of shape. I’m more a design/lifestyle, not fashion but I do put up posts about clothes I love. If you see me IRL though, I’m squeezed into the 5% of my wardrobe that actually fits.

    Great list and I agree and hope most blog readers know. We visit (and write) blogs for inspiration. By know means should we be expected to purchase everything. Having an appreciation for good design doesn’t mean we have to over consume. I just listened to a blogcast today with Grace Bonney of Design*Sponge and she talked about how she hardly buys anything. For her the thrill is learning as much as she can about design and showing her readers beautiful design is accessible to everyone.
    Tania´s last [type] ..Almost Wordless Wednesday…

  • Lucia May 24, 2012, 9:43 am

    thanks for your quota of reality! I love to see beautiful things in blogs like yours but sometimes you start to feel your life is not as beautiful as the ones shown in the blog, and we all know that’s not true, we all have nice and not nice things in life and ups and downs as well. So thanks for sharing.
    I had the same experience like you with point 3, a big move, a baby, a career change and (because of that last point) less income … it was not easy at all but after some time things are going well and I’m convinced that changes were for the better. Just work hard in what you love and you will get there.
    Point 1 is a lost war for me!!! but now I understand that you can’t have everything done, either you work hard one day, or you play with your child enough or you organize your house perfectly or you cook for several meals or so and so an so but not all the same day, and not everyday, it is just impossible!!!

  • Mary May 24, 2012, 8:31 pm

    Just discovered your blog and am loving it. This post is great – honesty really is refreshing, especially when it points out facts that many of us have in common. Messy home? Me too! Not a fan of Twitter? Me either! Like decluttering, like looking at pretty things but don’t buy them? Me too! No fashion sense? Oh I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wished for a personal shopper.
    Mary´s last [type] ..Neighbors, Lattes, and Decisions

  • hello bunnies May 25, 2012, 11:51 am

    I can relate to your struggles and appreciate you sharing them on your blog. Emotionally rich, yet extremely difficult. It’s worth it, but yes, doesn’t feel comforting or stable. Wouldn’t trade it for anything else though, and when I read your post, I see someone who is very strong and resilient. Thanks again for sharing!
    hello bunnies´s last [type] ..Another Blog Giveaway

  • Dulci Dantas May 27, 2012, 2:21 pm

    Thank you so much for this post. Really! It helped me to breath again just to know that I’m not the only one with this felling.
    That is a big gap between what I usually post in my blog and my real life and home. Sometimes people write to me and I can feel that they are felling small. This makes me feel really sad. I would like to say to them that we are the same in our messy lifes.
    Thank you so much once again. You inspired me to be honest and open with my readers.
    (Please forgive my bad english!)
    Hugs from Brazil.
    Dulci Dantas
    Dulci Dantas´s last [type] ..Mini-bar

  • Inge December 21, 2012, 3:15 pm

    Laura, this is great! I’m soooo happy to find out that I’m not the only one who doesn’t like Twitter all that much. I also do feel like a grandma who still doesn’t understand the hash-tag-things (even after a lot of explanations from hubby). :-) So refreshing to read… I loved your blog, thanks to the 24 Merry Giveaway, but after reading some of your post and most of all this one, I even love it more!
    I also moved away a few miles away from family and friends and am stilling missing my roots… After having our cutest baby boy I also went through some emotional changes as well, but I can honestly say that these years are difficult but so beautiful at the same time. And thank God that there are more people out there who do feel the same way as I do. It gives me a feeling of comfort to read that I’m not alone. ;-)

    Thanks for sharing!! Inge x
    Inge´s last [type] ..Silver sparkling by H&M Home

    • Lolalina December 21, 2012, 4:27 pm

      Thank you so much for these kind, heartfelt words, Inge! Yes, it does help to feel more together in our little struggles, doesn’t it? Hugs, Laura

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